Confession

This is a hard thing to admit so publicly, but I have to say it: I have a hard time reading books. I really do like reading, I like the idea of reading, and Ross can tell you I spend hours adding books to my Amazon wish list. But once I buy them, they just sit on my shelf. I pick them up every now and then, read a paragraph or two, and that's as far as I get. If I'm lucky, it might extend to a full chapter, but it takes a very special book for me to actually finish the whole thing. I just get so bored, so distracted, and lose interest very quickly.

I am admitting this tonight because I am feeling guilty that I am not reading the pregnancy books I've bought. And now I have breastfeeding and baby care books that I'm supposed to start devouring, and I just can't. I have no idea what I'm getting into because I have almost no interest in reading about it. Isn't that terrible?

On the bright side, despite a nasty fall at the grocery store (slipping on a grape in the produce isle while wearing flip flops is not recommended) and despite my ignorance on pregnancy matters, all seems to be going well for baby. I go for week 17 checkup tomorrow. Only a few more weeks and we'll have a gender- maybe that will motivate me to read more!

Closed Doors, Open Windows?

Last Friday I found out I am one of 300 teachers in my school district being let go at the end of the school year. Budget crises being what they are, and support of the arts being what it is, the likelihood of me finding another teaching job is pretty much null. But the weird thing is I'm not too worried- I feel really peaceful about it so far. I get paid until the end of August, so if we don't have a plan by then, I might be a little more panicked this fall!

Earlier I had learned that if I took maternity leave, I wouldn't be paid at all during the time I took off- I had to have been paying disability insurance, and stupid me never signed up for it when I first got hired. At least this way I can stay home with my baby AND I might get a little bit of income from unemployment!

Ross and I are discussing all our choices now- and the more we talk, the more choices we come up with. It's really pretty amazing that in spite of losing one job, we have so many avenues to explore. I'm truly grateful for that- so happy that Ross is well enough for this, happy I'll get to stay home with baby for awhile, happy that the Lord still has us in His hands!

We'll keep our friends and family posted!