This is so weird. I wake up feeling like I have to eat instantly or I will die. But then when I go to my kitchen, everything kinda sounds unappealing- nothing sounds good. Even if I did eat, I'm unsure it will stay down. So I grab cereal and milk and eat it like I'm a starving hyena, and feel better. I've never experienced anything like it- and it happens ALL day! At school I'll be teaching and suddenly feel like if I don't eat RIGHT THEN, I will go crazy. Class is over, I go to my desk to get a snack and it sounds gross, but I wolf it, and feel a bit better.
The other weird thing is my sleeping. Early in the week I had major insomnia, and couldn't fall asleep no matter what. Then as the week progressed, I got SOO tired! Usually I never nap- not even when I'm sick. I mean, I have to be REALLY sick before I can take a nap. I just lie in bed and think for hours because my brain won't turn off. But the last couple of days, I have come home and passed out!
Other pregnancy symptoms: I feel like I need a new bra, new pants- nothing fits right. I haven't gained weight yet- weird considering how hungry I am- but things just fit differently. I have cramps and headaches and have zero patience. Oh, and I keep losing and forgetting things. I knew I'd get some of this stuff, but not all at once and not so soon- I kinda thought it would come on gradually or later.
Not that I'm complaining- I'm documenting! I'm still so excited and happy!
Friday, January 7, 2011
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Happy New Year!!!
I really don't know who will even read this, but I am feeling inspired this year to return to my poor neglected blog!
Here is the news in the Matheson Clan household:
1) Ross' stomach is waking up! He is able to eat food again- YAY!!! He started out with adding Nutella to his Ensure shakes, then a little bit of chicken afterwards, then he moved up to crackers and meat with cheese (think Lunchables), and then he was able to eat Hot Pockets. Now he can eat anything he wants (although last night's movie popcorn kinda did him in!)
He was on massive doses of Dom Peridone (a motility drug we had to buy from New Zealand because the FDA hasn't approved it) and is now down to 4 pills or less a day- a HUGE improvement! Health is returning, and life is wonderful!
2) We spent the Christmas/New Year holiday moving from a one bedroom apartment into a two bedroom apartment with a fantastic view! I had always rented on the bottom floor because of my piano, but suckered some movers to get it up to the 3rd floor, and we're loving it!
3) I'M PREGNANT!!!! We're gonna have a baby! I'm due Sept 12, 2011. We're so excited!
I hope you dear, devoted blog readers had a fantastic New Year celebration, and wish you the best in 2011!!
Here is the news in the Matheson Clan household:
1) Ross' stomach is waking up! He is able to eat food again- YAY!!! He started out with adding Nutella to his Ensure shakes, then a little bit of chicken afterwards, then he moved up to crackers and meat with cheese (think Lunchables), and then he was able to eat Hot Pockets. Now he can eat anything he wants (although last night's movie popcorn kinda did him in!)
He was on massive doses of Dom Peridone (a motility drug we had to buy from New Zealand because the FDA hasn't approved it) and is now down to 4 pills or less a day- a HUGE improvement! Health is returning, and life is wonderful!
2) We spent the Christmas/New Year holiday moving from a one bedroom apartment into a two bedroom apartment with a fantastic view! I had always rented on the bottom floor because of my piano, but suckered some movers to get it up to the 3rd floor, and we're loving it!
3) I'M PREGNANT!!!! We're gonna have a baby! I'm due Sept 12, 2011. We're so excited!
I hope you dear, devoted blog readers had a fantastic New Year celebration, and wish you the best in 2011!!
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Journaling
It has been WAY too long since I updated this blog. Life has a funny way of taking over sometimes. But I have decided I need to be better at journaling, and figure this is as good a way as any.
So here's a quick snapshot of life today:
I had a fine day teaching my little darlings music at school, and then had opera rehearsal this evening for Suor Angelica. I got really sad halfway through because I realized that I keep saying I want to sing opera and I feel like I would be perfectly content if I could just dedicate my whole being to a role or a performance, and yet I am feeling so apathetic and blase about this production. I feel like such a hypocrite because I'm not giving it my best and can't get into it. I feel really pathetic. Luckily I have 2 more rehearsals before our show to get it right.
So I came home and had a pity-party by wasting the evening on Facebook! :)
Ross is still feeling sick from the gastric emptying test he had yesterday. I am anxious for the results- I just wish it were the kind of test that a doctor could look at and say, "AHA! Here is the solution. This is what is wrong with you. This is what will fix it." Wouldn't that be a lovely change! Unfortunately, this one was really just to see if his meds are doing any good, which is a good thing to know, but not as good as knowing what's wrong. I can't believe we're rapidly closing on a year of this. Poor Ross! I can't imagine a year without food. I hope answers come soon, or at the very least healing and the ability to eat!
Okay. There's my first journal entry. Now the trick is to keep it up and write another one soon!
So here's a quick snapshot of life today:
I had a fine day teaching my little darlings music at school, and then had opera rehearsal this evening for Suor Angelica. I got really sad halfway through because I realized that I keep saying I want to sing opera and I feel like I would be perfectly content if I could just dedicate my whole being to a role or a performance, and yet I am feeling so apathetic and blase about this production. I feel like such a hypocrite because I'm not giving it my best and can't get into it. I feel really pathetic. Luckily I have 2 more rehearsals before our show to get it right.
So I came home and had a pity-party by wasting the evening on Facebook! :)
Ross is still feeling sick from the gastric emptying test he had yesterday. I am anxious for the results- I just wish it were the kind of test that a doctor could look at and say, "AHA! Here is the solution. This is what is wrong with you. This is what will fix it." Wouldn't that be a lovely change! Unfortunately, this one was really just to see if his meds are doing any good, which is a good thing to know, but not as good as knowing what's wrong. I can't believe we're rapidly closing on a year of this. Poor Ross! I can't imagine a year without food. I hope answers come soon, or at the very least healing and the ability to eat!
Okay. There's my first journal entry. Now the trick is to keep it up and write another one soon!
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Back to Square One
The following is something Ross wrote up for one of the many doctors we have seen since May.
____________________________________________________
Kenneth Ross Matheson
May 18: felt completely normal
May 19-present: no longer able to eat and following symptoms
Nausea
Constant nausea and sense of something wrong
Sudden attacks of severe nausea often to point of barely contained retching
Worst episodes seem random, but generally occurring at bedtime/overnight
Anorexia
Zero appetite, have lost sensation of hunger completely
Weight loss, ~10 lbs/month since May
Fatigue and Weakness
Stiff/sore joints, Difficulty standing up
Other concerns
Dizzy/Faint when standing
Physical exertion brings tightness and discomfort in chest, gets worse until feels like another step will kill me
Often awake to much of left side of body numb and tingly
Feeling of deadness in chest
Intense discomfort
Last solid food/meal eaten May 28
Daily intake:
2-3 Nutrition Drink Plus (350 cal, Boost, Ensure etc)
1 8oz V8 (30 cal)
Sips of fluid for taking pills and easing nausea
Maybe 12oz total of water, gatorade, ginger ale
Anything more than above or anything more solid brings terrible nausea usually 4-6 hours after last meal of the day, will most likely result in vomiting
____________________________________________
Ross wrote the above about a month ago, and if anything, things have just gotten worse. But there is some good news, I suppose.
What We Know It Is NOT:
Cancer
Addison’s Disease
Hemochromatosis
Celiac’s Disease
Digestive obstruction
Gall stones or any other Gall Bladder issue
Liver disease
Kidney disorder
Pancreas or Thyroid issue
Helicobacter pylori infection
Number of Doctors Consulted:
Six- And now on to number 7!
It’s good to know what is healthy when so much isn’t, but still our visit with the endocrinologist today was discouraging! She was very kind, but pretty much said they’ve done all they can. It’s time to consult an internal medicine doctor. They apparently specialize in the diagnosis of serious and unusual diseases- I sure wish somebody had suggested that several months ago!
____________________________________________________
Kenneth Ross Matheson
May 18: felt completely normal
May 19-present: no longer able to eat and following symptoms
Nausea
Constant nausea and sense of something wrong
Sudden attacks of severe nausea often to point of barely contained retching
Worst episodes seem random, but generally occurring at bedtime/overnight
Anorexia
Zero appetite, have lost sensation of hunger completely
Weight loss, ~10 lbs/month since May
Fatigue and Weakness
Stiff/sore joints, Difficulty standing up
Other concerns
Dizzy/Faint when standing
Physical exertion brings tightness and discomfort in chest, gets worse until feels like another step will kill me
Often awake to much of left side of body numb and tingly
Feeling of deadness in chest
Intense discomfort
Last solid food/meal eaten May 28
Daily intake:
2-3 Nutrition Drink Plus (350 cal, Boost, Ensure etc)
1 8oz V8 (30 cal)
Sips of fluid for taking pills and easing nausea
Maybe 12oz total of water, gatorade, ginger ale
Anything more than above or anything more solid brings terrible nausea usually 4-6 hours after last meal of the day, will most likely result in vomiting
____________________________________________
Ross wrote the above about a month ago, and if anything, things have just gotten worse. But there is some good news, I suppose.
What We Know It Is NOT:
Cancer
Addison’s Disease
Hemochromatosis
Celiac’s Disease
Digestive obstruction
Gall stones or any other Gall Bladder issue
Liver disease
Kidney disorder
Pancreas or Thyroid issue
Helicobacter pylori infection
Number of Doctors Consulted:
Six- And now on to number 7!
It’s good to know what is healthy when so much isn’t, but still our visit with the endocrinologist today was discouraging! She was very kind, but pretty much said they’ve done all they can. It’s time to consult an internal medicine doctor. They apparently specialize in the diagnosis of serious and unusual diseases- I sure wish somebody had suggested that several months ago!
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Life Happens
This is a post for my friends whom I have ignored and neglected and who don't know what's happening in the Matheson Clan.
We have been living through a medical mystery. On May 28, Ross had his last real meal. This was the day his stomach decided to stop working- the medical diagnosis is Gastroparesis. It was such a strange thing- one day he was eating a Chipotle burrito, and then his stomach never digested it. We've done a lot of web research, and Ross's case seems extremely severe. He has excruciating nausea and distress every hour he is awake, and often it even wakes him up in the middle of the night. He has been on a completely liquid diet since May, only able to drink 3 Ensure shakes a day, a little water or ginger ale, and maybe a spoonful of Nutella to lick if he's having a good day. He has lost around 45 pounds, and is still losing about a pound a day. He was first taking a drug called Reglan which was supposed to trigger stomach movement, but had so many problems, we resorted to buying a drug called Domperidone from New Zealand because it has fewer side effects. It hasn't enabled him to eat anything, but we're hoping it's doing something to lessen the nausea.
It seems as though every test imaginable has been given to Ross, and the doctors keep coming back with the results showing nothing. We don't know what caused this (at first we were told it was diabetes, then not, then maybe it was his gallbladder, then not), we don't know what will cure the condition, and meanwhile Ross is pretty well disabled- even walking to get our mail is too painful and difficult for him. Ross goes back in to see his gastroenterologist on Monday, and we're really fasting, praying, and hoping for answers soon!
Luckily, though, life has improved some for me, so I am able to help Ross out more at home. After teaching for a year in an exceptionally difficult elementary school, I was hired and started teaching this past week at a different school only a few minutes drive from our apartment. In every single way, it is a miraculous blessing to have this position now! Prayers were definitely answered when I was given this new job. It's a wonderful school- great kids, incredibly supportive community, and a very warm and friendly collegial atmosphere among the teachers! Best of all, it is so much less stressful, that I can really let go of work when I get home - something I could never do when I worked at my previous school- and this is a real bonus in our given circumstances!
So that is life in the Matheson Clan right now. Lots of prayers are being answered to much gratitude, but we're also still praying desperately for the help Ross needs in finding the cause and cure for his condition. And now that I am home more, I will try to be a better blogger to keep all of our friends and family updated. We appreciate your love, your prayers, your support! Thank you for all your kindness and concern! It makes life easier to go through when you don't have to go through it alone!
We have been living through a medical mystery. On May 28, Ross had his last real meal. This was the day his stomach decided to stop working- the medical diagnosis is Gastroparesis. It was such a strange thing- one day he was eating a Chipotle burrito, and then his stomach never digested it. We've done a lot of web research, and Ross's case seems extremely severe. He has excruciating nausea and distress every hour he is awake, and often it even wakes him up in the middle of the night. He has been on a completely liquid diet since May, only able to drink 3 Ensure shakes a day, a little water or ginger ale, and maybe a spoonful of Nutella to lick if he's having a good day. He has lost around 45 pounds, and is still losing about a pound a day. He was first taking a drug called Reglan which was supposed to trigger stomach movement, but had so many problems, we resorted to buying a drug called Domperidone from New Zealand because it has fewer side effects. It hasn't enabled him to eat anything, but we're hoping it's doing something to lessen the nausea.
It seems as though every test imaginable has been given to Ross, and the doctors keep coming back with the results showing nothing. We don't know what caused this (at first we were told it was diabetes, then not, then maybe it was his gallbladder, then not), we don't know what will cure the condition, and meanwhile Ross is pretty well disabled- even walking to get our mail is too painful and difficult for him. Ross goes back in to see his gastroenterologist on Monday, and we're really fasting, praying, and hoping for answers soon!
Luckily, though, life has improved some for me, so I am able to help Ross out more at home. After teaching for a year in an exceptionally difficult elementary school, I was hired and started teaching this past week at a different school only a few minutes drive from our apartment. In every single way, it is a miraculous blessing to have this position now! Prayers were definitely answered when I was given this new job. It's a wonderful school- great kids, incredibly supportive community, and a very warm and friendly collegial atmosphere among the teachers! Best of all, it is so much less stressful, that I can really let go of work when I get home - something I could never do when I worked at my previous school- and this is a real bonus in our given circumstances!
So that is life in the Matheson Clan right now. Lots of prayers are being answered to much gratitude, but we're also still praying desperately for the help Ross needs in finding the cause and cure for his condition. And now that I am home more, I will try to be a better blogger to keep all of our friends and family updated. We appreciate your love, your prayers, your support! Thank you for all your kindness and concern! It makes life easier to go through when you don't have to go through it alone!
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Quick Update
I can't believe it is May!
I survived teaching and being in an opera at the same time in March and April. Being in a show is always a lot of work, and teaching is a lot of work. I'm really happy I got through having to do both back to back each night. It was a fun cast to work with, and re-inspired me to get busy with my singing. And now I'm down to only 4.5 weeks of teaching! I can't wait for it to be over!
Ross spent the last two months coughing- we both caught nasty flu bugs turned sinus infections. We're both mad we were sick in bed so long because the last two months in Texas are just about the only months anyone wants to be outside- it's dry and mild with tons of flowers and plants blooming everywhere, so it's gorgeous. Now that we're feeling like getting out, it is hot and humid and the nature show is over. So frustrating!
We're still in the planning stages of our summer vacation- but we'll keep y'all posted so you'll know when and where to find us!
You can check out some great pictures from the opera at this website: bebangco.net . And here are some silly pics from backstage:
I survived teaching and being in an opera at the same time in March and April. Being in a show is always a lot of work, and teaching is a lot of work. I'm really happy I got through having to do both back to back each night. It was a fun cast to work with, and re-inspired me to get busy with my singing. And now I'm down to only 4.5 weeks of teaching! I can't wait for it to be over!
Ross spent the last two months coughing- we both caught nasty flu bugs turned sinus infections. We're both mad we were sick in bed so long because the last two months in Texas are just about the only months anyone wants to be outside- it's dry and mild with tons of flowers and plants blooming everywhere, so it's gorgeous. Now that we're feeling like getting out, it is hot and humid and the nature show is over. So frustrating!
We're still in the planning stages of our summer vacation- but we'll keep y'all posted so you'll know when and where to find us!
You can check out some great pictures from the opera at this website: bebangco.net . And here are some silly pics from backstage:
Monday, February 16, 2009
February Update
I've been neglecting my blog, but will try and at least update it once a month. Here is the update for February:
Ross is responding pretty well to his new meds. His blood sugar went from the 600's to the 110's!! We're SUPER happy about his numbers now! He still has some discomfort and pain from the drugs, but not enough to keep him from taking it, which is also great. We have, of course, been trying to eat better and are also trying to go for regular walks when I get home, and this helps, too. He's feeling much better all around and that will make it easier to find employment. But this is now limited to positions within walking distance.
Our beloved 1986 Fiero is making us crazy! You have to try to start it, let it fail, wait 10 minutes, try again, and then it will start- maybe. It had an air intake tube break, which Ross replaced, and we hoped that would fix it for a while longer, but no luck- same old problems. We've decided to let it sit since we can't really afford to take it to a shop, and if we get desperate enough, we'll probably sell the poor devil soon. Send any enquiries our way!
I am getting better at surviving hell, I mean teaching. I would think I were a horrible teacher and hate it completely, if I weren't blessed to be working at two schools. My main school is where I feel so clueless and stressed and I come home hating kids, hating life, exhausted and stressed out. I leave the other school feeling like I obviously have much to learn, but still I already know how to teach, I like kids, I'm happy with my job, I'm good at it, I come home smiling. Night and Day. But I am learning how to let things go at the main school, how to plan early so I can come home and forget work, how to survive.
As part of that survival, Ross is helping me plan a garden for our patio- I miss growing things. I am playing the piano more often (since I am still struggling to feel well enough to sing), and I've been watching a little too much TV- but it helps me unwind.
I'm feeling a whole lot better health-wise, too. I saw the doctor last week again, and FINALLY can feel my sinus infection leaving! He has me on 3 different medicines and I feel like a walking pharmacy, but I can breath! I can speak and am no longer hoarse! I can sleep at night and not cough. It's wonderful.
And we get free tacos at our apartment office tonight. Life is good.
Ross is responding pretty well to his new meds. His blood sugar went from the 600's to the 110's!! We're SUPER happy about his numbers now! He still has some discomfort and pain from the drugs, but not enough to keep him from taking it, which is also great. We have, of course, been trying to eat better and are also trying to go for regular walks when I get home, and this helps, too. He's feeling much better all around and that will make it easier to find employment. But this is now limited to positions within walking distance.
Our beloved 1986 Fiero is making us crazy! You have to try to start it, let it fail, wait 10 minutes, try again, and then it will start- maybe. It had an air intake tube break, which Ross replaced, and we hoped that would fix it for a while longer, but no luck- same old problems. We've decided to let it sit since we can't really afford to take it to a shop, and if we get desperate enough, we'll probably sell the poor devil soon. Send any enquiries our way!
I am getting better at surviving hell, I mean teaching. I would think I were a horrible teacher and hate it completely, if I weren't blessed to be working at two schools. My main school is where I feel so clueless and stressed and I come home hating kids, hating life, exhausted and stressed out. I leave the other school feeling like I obviously have much to learn, but still I already know how to teach, I like kids, I'm happy with my job, I'm good at it, I come home smiling. Night and Day. But I am learning how to let things go at the main school, how to plan early so I can come home and forget work, how to survive.
As part of that survival, Ross is helping me plan a garden for our patio- I miss growing things. I am playing the piano more often (since I am still struggling to feel well enough to sing), and I've been watching a little too much TV- but it helps me unwind.
I'm feeling a whole lot better health-wise, too. I saw the doctor last week again, and FINALLY can feel my sinus infection leaving! He has me on 3 different medicines and I feel like a walking pharmacy, but I can breath! I can speak and am no longer hoarse! I can sleep at night and not cough. It's wonderful.
And we get free tacos at our apartment office tonight. Life is good.
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