Week 9

PUKEY!!!

Week 6

Titus stayed 4 days in the Kitty Hospital with a urinary blockage and finally came home! The whole time he was gone, I was an emotional wreck! I was so worried about him, and missed him, and just bawled all the time. It seems silly now, but I couldn't help myself. So I'm very relieved he's home and doing well.

Needless to say, hyper-emotions are a major pregnancy sign for me right now. I finally started getting nauseated- luckily it's been really mild and only at night. So far, it's also been accompanied by headaches- they are worse than the pukey feeling! I hope that doesn't happen often. They're like my old migraines, but I can't do anything for them but sleep. If they hit during school hours, I don't know what I'll do! I still have sore breasts, and actually have lost my appetite. I haven't been eating nearly enough. So that's my week 6 so far!

Ross and I toured the Cedar Park Regional Medical Center's maternity ward last night. I felt silly- all the other women were 8 months pregnant. But I want to find a good doctor AND a good facility, and if I know the place I'll be delivering is right, it will help narrow down doctor choices. There are just too many! I really liked the hospital- it's small and very well-equipped, very swanky. I think it will work out great.

Hysterics

Titus, my 11 year old cat, got sick this morning- or last night maybe. He got a urinary blockage and was in obvious distress. Ross took him into the vet and they had to sedate him, give him a catheter, and will keep him under observation all night.

I have been frantic with worry all day! He is so precious to me! I got myself to work, when I should have called out sick. All day I cried in between classes, and when my last class before lunch was over, I went to my closet and bawled!

Then I discovered I'm spotting- Wow! I really cried, then! I sobbed and sobbed all afternoon. Luckily, some WONDERFUL team-mates convinced me to let someone cover my afternoon classes. There's no way I was fit to teach!

I'm taking tomorrow off, too. The vet wants me to take Titus to the kitty ER so he can still have care overnight, and then pick him up and take him back to the vet's office tomorrow morning. Apparently they have such things as kitty ER's, but no kitty ambulance! And then I called my doctor for me, and they said it's probably nothing, but I should take it easy and monitor myself to make sure it doesn't get worse. They said to rest, so I'm taking them at their word and resting from work tomorrow!

Why am I happy to be sick?

I was reading that if a pregnant woman suddenly stops having pregnancy symptoms, this could be a sign that she is miscarrying. So yesterday I had an incredibly easy day. I wasn't super tired, I wasn't feeling like I could eat a horse, my breasts weren't abnormally sore. The only thing was I got frustrated at a first grader, but that's pretty par for the course. So I started worrying all day- what if something is wrong? What if I'm not developing right? What if I miscarry?

And then I started feeling nauseous! Not a whole lot- just faintly. Enough to make me moan and feel gross. (I think my idea of bad nausea versus faint nausea might be messed up, though- it's hard to think anything I'm feeling might be bad when I watched Ross be so sick all year!) Anyway, I was THRILLED to feel sick! It was the weirdest thing- the sicker I felt, the more I smiled! And then as I went to bed, my breasts hurt worse than I have ever felt- it was marvelous!!

I got sick in the middle of the night, too- I had a dream that I was waiting for a bus in LA at one of the grimier stops. There was a lady and her mom- very white-trashy ladies. The younger one was holding a baby less than a year old, and the baby was chewing on a lit cigarette! It was so disgusting and so REAL, that I really almost barfed in my dream. I woke up feeling sick, so I think I almost barfed for real.

I felt again slightly nauseous this morning, it went away but came back before lunch, went away again, and is back while I wait for dinner. If I just keep eating, will I never get sick?

At any rate, I'm just glad I still have pregnancy signs!

So this is what it's like....

This is so weird. I wake up feeling like I have to eat instantly or I will die. But then when I go to my kitchen, everything kinda sounds unappealing- nothing sounds good. Even if I did eat, I'm unsure it will stay down. So I grab cereal and milk and eat it like I'm a starving hyena, and feel better. I've never experienced anything like it- and it happens ALL day! At school I'll be teaching and suddenly feel like if I don't eat RIGHT THEN, I will go crazy. Class is over, I go to my desk to get a snack and it sounds gross, but I wolf it, and feel a bit better.

The other weird thing is my sleeping. Early in the week I had major insomnia, and couldn't fall asleep no matter what. Then as the week progressed, I got SOO tired! Usually I never nap- not even when I'm sick. I mean, I have to be REALLY sick before I can take a nap. I just lie in bed and think for hours because my brain won't turn off. But the last couple of days, I have come home and passed out!

Other pregnancy symptoms: I feel like I need a new bra, new pants- nothing fits right. I haven't gained weight yet- weird considering how hungry I am- but things just fit differently. I have cramps and headaches and have zero patience. Oh, and I keep losing and forgetting things. I knew I'd get some of this stuff, but not all at once and not so soon- I kinda thought it would come on gradually or later.

Not that I'm complaining- I'm documenting! I'm still so excited and happy!

Happy New Year!!!

I really don't know who will even read this, but I am feeling inspired this year to return to my poor neglected blog!

Here is the news in the Matheson Clan household:

1) Ross' stomach is waking up! He is able to eat food again- YAY!!! He started out with adding Nutella to his Ensure shakes, then a little bit of chicken afterwards, then he moved up to crackers and meat with cheese (think Lunchables), and then he was able to eat Hot Pockets. Now he can eat anything he wants (although last night's movie popcorn kinda did him in!)

He was on massive doses of Dom Peridone (a motility drug we had to buy from New Zealand because the FDA hasn't approved it) and is now down to 4 pills or less a day- a HUGE improvement! Health is returning, and life is wonderful!

2) We spent the Christmas/New Year holiday moving from a one bedroom apartment into a two bedroom apartment with a fantastic view! I had always rented on the bottom floor because of my piano, but suckered some movers to get it up to the 3rd floor, and we're loving it!

3) I'M PREGNANT!!!! We're gonna have a baby! I'm due Sept 12, 2011. We're so excited!

I hope you dear, devoted blog readers had a fantastic New Year celebration, and wish you the best in 2011!!

Journaling

It has been WAY too long since I updated this blog. Life has a funny way of taking over sometimes. But I have decided I need to be better at journaling, and figure this is as good a way as any.

So here's a quick snapshot of life today:

I had a fine day teaching my little darlings music at school, and then had opera rehearsal this evening for Suor Angelica. I got really sad halfway through because I realized that I keep saying I want to sing opera and I feel like I would be perfectly content if I could just dedicate my whole being to a role or a performance, and yet I am feeling so apathetic and blase about this production. I feel like such a hypocrite because I'm not giving it my best and can't get into it. I feel really pathetic. Luckily I have 2 more rehearsals before our show to get it right.

So I came home and had a pity-party by wasting the evening on Facebook! :)

Ross is still feeling sick from the gastric emptying test he had yesterday. I am anxious for the results- I just wish it were the kind of test that a doctor could look at and say, "AHA! Here is the solution. This is what is wrong with you. This is what will fix it." Wouldn't that be a lovely change! Unfortunately, this one was really just to see if his meds are doing any good, which is a good thing to know, but not as good as knowing what's wrong. I can't believe we're rapidly closing on a year of this. Poor Ross! I can't imagine a year without food. I hope answers come soon, or at the very least healing and the ability to eat!

Okay. There's my first journal entry. Now the trick is to keep it up and write another one soon!