Moving Out and Cleaning Up

I was thrilled for the last day of school yesterday- until I had to start packing up my classroom and moving my things out of the school. That really hurt! I remembered how excited I was 2 years ago to move it all in. I'd been dealing fairly well with the lay-off until that moment when it finally struck me that I have to leave.

Then I got all of my things packed up and brought them home to find places for it all here. Now I am completely overwhelmed! It didn't seem like that much stuff sitting in an empty classroom. But all of it sitting in piles in an already full apartment is completely different altogether! I have no idea where to put it all.

What a mixed bag! I'm happy to get to stay at home with a baby girl this fall, sad to leave a wonderful school, stressed about how we're going to survive, wanting to get rid of school things but afraid to give it away in case something changes and I get to go back.

I just wish I could see the future!!

It's a....

!!!!! GIRL !!!!!

Ross and I are both very excited! We had both been wanting a girl, and felt like it would be a girl, and were thrilled to see the ultrasound confirmed that for us. In the sonogram, the little bean was all curled up with her stomach on her head. The technician kept bouncing the receiver on my belly to try and get her to unwind, but she just kicked me instead! It is wonderful to watch her, though- curled up and all!

Right now the name we're stuck on and feel the best about is Maisie Claris Matheson. My parents really prayed about all of our names, and taught me that names are a very spiritual matter- they're so important, and God already has names for us. So we're really praying about Maisie, but it feels so right so far, and we can't seem to come up with any others, so I think this is her name.

I'm also now looking at nursery goodies, and have fallen in love with Beatrix Potter fabric. I am going to choose my favorites, buy it up, and make an adorable nursery set out of it!


Other baby decisions made: I've decided I want to try cloth diapers instead of disposables- cheaper in the long run, better for the environment, and very high tech these days.

We've received AMAZING gifts from fellow teachers and parents of students at my school- a fabulous stroller, crib, changing table, play yard, walker, and toddler car seat. Despite the fact that I am still loosing my job in August and Ross is still unemployed, I am feeling very blessed!

Confession

This is a hard thing to admit so publicly, but I have to say it: I have a hard time reading books. I really do like reading, I like the idea of reading, and Ross can tell you I spend hours adding books to my Amazon wish list. But once I buy them, they just sit on my shelf. I pick them up every now and then, read a paragraph or two, and that's as far as I get. If I'm lucky, it might extend to a full chapter, but it takes a very special book for me to actually finish the whole thing. I just get so bored, so distracted, and lose interest very quickly.

I am admitting this tonight because I am feeling guilty that I am not reading the pregnancy books I've bought. And now I have breastfeeding and baby care books that I'm supposed to start devouring, and I just can't. I have no idea what I'm getting into because I have almost no interest in reading about it. Isn't that terrible?

On the bright side, despite a nasty fall at the grocery store (slipping on a grape in the produce isle while wearing flip flops is not recommended) and despite my ignorance on pregnancy matters, all seems to be going well for baby. I go for week 17 checkup tomorrow. Only a few more weeks and we'll have a gender- maybe that will motivate me to read more!

Closed Doors, Open Windows?

Last Friday I found out I am one of 300 teachers in my school district being let go at the end of the school year. Budget crises being what they are, and support of the arts being what it is, the likelihood of me finding another teaching job is pretty much null. But the weird thing is I'm not too worried- I feel really peaceful about it so far. I get paid until the end of August, so if we don't have a plan by then, I might be a little more panicked this fall!

Earlier I had learned that if I took maternity leave, I wouldn't be paid at all during the time I took off- I had to have been paying disability insurance, and stupid me never signed up for it when I first got hired. At least this way I can stay home with my baby AND I might get a little bit of income from unemployment!

Ross and I are discussing all our choices now- and the more we talk, the more choices we come up with. It's really pretty amazing that in spite of losing one job, we have so many avenues to explore. I'm truly grateful for that- so happy that Ross is well enough for this, happy I'll get to stay home with baby for awhile, happy that the Lord still has us in His hands!

We'll keep our friends and family posted!

What an amazing experience we had this week to hear the heartbeat and see for the first time our little baby!! The doctor said he/she is only 1 inch long, but on the screen, we saw a baby- not what I imagined a fetus to look like, but we actually saw feet and arms and watched and the baby stretched and moved. It was wonderful and I didn't want it to stop!

Everything is looking healthy and normal at 10 weeks. I go back in at 13 for another checkup, and again at 20 weeks to see again how the little kid is doing. I am feeling tired and pukey still- mostly the later at night. Whoever called it morning sickness was never pregnant! But I'm looking forward to "a sudden burst of energy" my doc says may come in the next couple weeks!

Week 9

PUKEY!!!

Week 6

Titus stayed 4 days in the Kitty Hospital with a urinary blockage and finally came home! The whole time he was gone, I was an emotional wreck! I was so worried about him, and missed him, and just bawled all the time. It seems silly now, but I couldn't help myself. So I'm very relieved he's home and doing well.

Needless to say, hyper-emotions are a major pregnancy sign for me right now. I finally started getting nauseated- luckily it's been really mild and only at night. So far, it's also been accompanied by headaches- they are worse than the pukey feeling! I hope that doesn't happen often. They're like my old migraines, but I can't do anything for them but sleep. If they hit during school hours, I don't know what I'll do! I still have sore breasts, and actually have lost my appetite. I haven't been eating nearly enough. So that's my week 6 so far!

Ross and I toured the Cedar Park Regional Medical Center's maternity ward last night. I felt silly- all the other women were 8 months pregnant. But I want to find a good doctor AND a good facility, and if I know the place I'll be delivering is right, it will help narrow down doctor choices. There are just too many! I really liked the hospital- it's small and very well-equipped, very swanky. I think it will work out great.